one step closer, getting brighter

wandering through starry skies,
and when tomorrow's day arrives
i'll be a moment closer to
the brightest hour, here with you.

i hate not being able to sleep properly. it's been heckling me ever since i was really little; my mom even told me once that i've been having troubles sleeping when i was a baby.
i guess the perfect way to describe insomnia is how edward norton decribed it in fight club: everything seems so far away and unrealistic, a copy of a copy of a copy. time stretches to amazing lengths and everything moves in a ridiculously slow haze. getting through the night is horrible because you're just sitting alone in your room with the computer screen glaring into your aching eyes and you have nothing to listen to but the eerie stillness of the house. you're so sick of the music on your playlist because you've heard the songs at least a thousand times each and there's never anything worth watching on tv at this time of the evening. you can't play guitar or any sort of musical instrument because there's a risk of everyone else waking up, and you're so dissillusioned and disorientated you don't feel like playing anyway. the internet's even losing its lustre; you can't find anything good to watch on youtube anymore, and all the movies have either out-of-sync audio, or they're really crappy quality. or maybe they're just taking too long to load and you're tired of how slow things have been going for you lately.
enduring the day is just as hard, especially when you've got school or work. your attention and reflexes are shot due to your lack of energy, and homework is simply impossible. the sun hurts your eyes when you first step outside because you're so used to sitting in the dark (or maybe that's just me, i dunno); your friends jokingly refer you to a vampire or a zombie. you lose track of time since there's no need to keep track of it anymore - you're up all hours of the day, so what's the point? when people try to talk to you their words sound like drunken slurs, and you can only mumble back a response because it takes too much effort to talk.
and after a long day of work you collapse on your bed, stare up at the ceiling for a few hours and wait for the cycle to repeat itself.
i guess this is pretty 'early' for me right now - 3am is nothing. i guess the only good thing about not being able to sleep is that i've seen the sunrise numerous times, and not a lot of people i know actually got the chance to. and sometimes the eerie silence in the middle of the night is comforting; when you're so used to the hustle and bustle of everyday life it's relaxing to kind of just sit and listen to particularly nothing.
anyway, the only reason why i decided to write today was because i was in a ranting mood, and clearly i'm finished ranting, so i'm gonna go play mariokart now...with the volume turned all the way down. cheers.