here are sneak previews of the first chapters to the two AU stories i'm planning to upload in the near future. which one should be uploaded first? i need help deciding ><
so here's the first one: it's the farm-situated, coming-of-age story. it's called where the heart is. this is just an excerpt and not the full chapter:
I can’t say I’ve accomplished anything worth mentioning, except for the fact I’ve lived most of my life being compared to other members of my family.
My twin brother, for instance, just finished his first year in college on a soccer scholarship. He’s got a girlfriend who’s captain of the varsity cheerleading squad - a cute redhead, but too bubbly in personality - and with a 3.5 GPA to boot.
My cousin Xion got accepted into the most prestigious performing arts school in the country - yep, she, too is on a scholarship. She got the lead part in an upcoming play written by one of the city’s most known playwrights; the first show is next October.
My dad even has a few things worth boasting about; he married his childhood sweetheart and raised three kids on a ranch in a rural town with a population of three thousand. When his wife died ten years after their wedding he migrated to the city and secured a formidable job that paid all the bills, despite the fact he’s got nothing more than a high school diploma.
What did I have? Well, for starters I’m a college dropout; after three months of college I realized it wasn’t for me and abandoned post-secondary education altogether. I don’t know if it was just a bout of youthful indecisiveness or if it really wasn’t meant for me, but all I know is the moment I decided I wasn’t going back I felt relieved.
I’m not special. I’m not overly smart like my dad is or extremely talented like my twin brother and cousin are. I have enough friends to feel like I have some sort of a social life and I got average grades in school. I wasn’t picked first in Gym class, but I wasn’t picked last either. I like music that some people like, and I like to play sports when I’m in the mood for it.
There’s nothing extraordinary about me. If anything, I’m just ordinary, and maybe that’s what makes me feel so unattached to the rest of the world.
--
the next excerpt is from the second story; it's loosely inspired from the movie 500 days of summer. the characters are young adults and the mood leans towards a romantic comedy. it'll be called hard to get. here's the excerpt:
My phone rings, and the toast and I jump at exactly the same time. I pull the hot bread out and smear whatever was left of the Nutella before answering the call. I check the name on the call display: my best friend.
“Roxas?” Axel splutters frantically, and I chew my toast calmly, “Are you still coming?”
“I’m on my way,” I assure him as I swallow the last piece of my toast, “Don’t worry, I got this.”
“You sound awfully calm.”
“Why shouldn’t I?” I ask as I down my glass of milk. I check the digital clock on the stove - half an hour.
“Well,” Axel begins in a much more even tone, “I just want you to know you’re wasting your time.”
I roll my eyes - I’ve heard this so many times before. “Axel, how many times do I have to tell you; I have to do this. I know this is what I’m supposed to do.”
“You tell me the same thing every time.” He groans exasperatingly.
“I can easily say the same thing about you.” I mutter as I head for the door. “Look, I gotta go. I’ll be there soon.”
“Wait, I think you’re misinterpreting me,” He says as I lock my door, “You don’t have to do this, Roxas. She’s-”
“There’s no point in trying to convince me - you should know this by now,” I tell him firmly as I walk into the elevator, “I know now, Axel - I belong with her. She’s mine. I can’t let her go. I need her.” My chest twitches in pain but I ignore it. I lean against the wall and watch the numbers of the floor indicator go down, down, down…
I hear giggling again, and the twitching continues.
“A kiss for every floor…”
“Roxas?” Axel’s voice jolts me back to the present, and I blink wordlessly.
"you'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time."
i really don't know what possessed me to blog about this, but i guess it's just one of those things you feel you have to let out before you lose it. maybe it's just one of those random bouts of inspiration you get when you least expect it, and you're so compelled to jot it down somewhere because you know you'll never get it back once it slips away. i was just canoodling on my itunes when i stumbled upon a song i haven't heard in awhile: savage garden's two beds and a coffee machine, and i've forgotten how fucking depressing it is. it isn't just the content of the lyrics - a bad case of battered woman syndrome - that made me want to cry, well it was a big part of the reason but what contributed to it was the instrumental too. how can you NOT cry to a song with lyrics about a woman with an abusive husband with a solo piano and a few strings lulling in the background? i dunno about you, but the piano-strings combination gets me nearly every time. actually...it might just be strings. i dunno. so after i played the song i scoured my playlist for other depressing music, and i ended up creating a new list which i will post shortly. i've forgotten how amazing these songs were, and all of them deserve credit. at first i tried to figure out which song i thought was the saddest, but in the end i couldn't make up my mind. thus, this playlist came to fruition. i was going to use savage garden's song as the featured song for today's update but then i came across jimmy eat world - one of my ultimate favourite bands by the way - and i was reminded of how this song nearly drove me to tears every time i listened to it. in fact a lot of jimmy eat world songs drive me to tears, so don't be surprised if you spot more than two songs from them on the playlist, haha. anyway, here's the list. it's not in any particular order.
songs you'll most likely bawl your eyes out to.
1. only hope by mandy moore: the original is actually by switchfoot but the mandy moore version sounded more depressing...at least to me. i lift my hands and pray to be only yours. 2. for blue skies by strays don't sleep : apparently this was on one tree hill, though i don't watch the show so i can't really confirm that. i'll never get used to it. 3. everything by lifehouse : this was the theme song to smallville, i think - another show i never watched - but just listening to the lyrics and the guitar is just...wow. how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you? 4. 23 by jimmy eat world : well it IS the featured song for this update so it's gotta be on the list, haha. as usual jim adkin's lyrical prowess never ceases to amaze me. i won't always love what i'll never have. 5. two beds and a coffee machine by savage garden : another song i mentioned earlier, so this obviously made the list. wonder how i ever made it through. 6. lindsay quit lollygagging (acoustic) by chiodos : really bummed out how craig owens left the band, but i guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. the lyrics and the solo piano in this version of the song is definitely heartwrenching. i will be able to sleep at night with a smile upon her face. 7. fix you bycoldplay: you should've seen this coming. you really have to be an unemotional sack of organs to NOT feel something for this song. i will try to fix you. 8.videotape by radiohead : it's on their newest album, yes, but i don't think i've ever cried to a radiohead song until this one came around. this is my way of saying goodbye 'cause i can't do it face to face. 9. hide and seek byimogen heap : it was popular before its appearance on the oc, you know. they were here first. 10. you are the moonby the hush sound : i came across this song randomly one day by surfing around youtube. it's odd how the song is actually about the moon - if you read the lyrics carefully it all clicks - but like most songs you can interpret it how you wish. the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone. 11. existentialism on prom night by straylight run : it's one of those songs you can picture a couple waking up in the morning to. the end gets me all the time. sing me something soft. 12. my sundown by jimmy eat world : yet another JEW song. good goodbye, i'll be fine. 13. the other promise by yoko shimomura : yay for video game music! yeah yeah, i had to put this as the thirteenth song...how couldn't i? haha. roxas' theme song probably has to be one of the saddest theme songs i've ever heard, and the fact that yoko shimomura made an orchestral recording of it made it even sadder! my heart belongs to me. 14. xion's theme by yoko shimomura : well since she's number XIV i had to... how can two people be the same person? 15. your letter by 112 : about time i put some R&B in this. you'd THINK this song would have a happy ending, but it doesn't =( i saw a letter lying on the floor. 16. drugs or me by jimmy eat world : this makes JEW song number three. the title kind of speaks for itself, really. you promised, you promised. 17. run by snow patrol : the last parts at the end get me every time. have heart, my dear. 18. soil, soil by tegan and sara : the lyrics are very relatable. i'm feeling directionless, yes, but that's to be expected. 19. for me this is heaven by jimmy eat world : this is one of my favourite songs of all time, and the bridge is always a tearjerker - at least for me. i close my eyes and believe that wherever you are, an angel for me. 20. your ex-lover is dead (final fantasy remix) by stars : the final fantasy/owen pallett version of this song is simply amazing - i think it's better than the original. the piano and the strings combo proves itself worthy once again. and all of that time you thought i was sad, i was trying to remember your name.
i'm probably missing a bunch of other songs out, but i'm really tired and i have to get up at six so i should be sleeping soon. if i feel like it i'll probably update the list...but i don't know how likely that'll be, haha.
"i had it all but not what i wanted 'cause hope for me was a place unchartered."
while in the midst of writing my midterm paper for one of my journalism classes i've come to the realization that i've never really written a legitimate review of a recently-released CD that i am absolutely in love with. what CD am i speaking of, you ask? paramore, duh.so how long as it been since it's been released...*checks wikipedia* two and a half weeks? september 29th was the launch date for the united states and canada - i was fortunate enough to head over to the nearest HMV (it took a bus ride and two subway stops...i blame york university) and get it. on the way home i heard on the radio that brand new eyes outsold mariah carey's new album on the first day - mariah carey's new album, memoirs of a perfect angel, had already been out for four days by then. kinda shows that mariah's been losing her touch; the 90s was a great decade, but let's face it - it's over. just sayin', mariah. just sayin'. but back to my point - brand new eyes is a great follow-up to paramore's sophomore release, riot! it's got the same bright guitars, pounding drums and hayley's commit-it-to-memory vocals, but at the same time there's something different about the way the music's presented. in a sense there's a more mature twang to it - a clear allusion to the past tensions that almost led to the breakup to the band - lyrically-wise and musically. it's a great improvement from the last album, yet at the same it's also very nostalgic. it's like a remake of a classic movie, only this time the remake is somehow better than the classic. there are some tracks on the CD that are very riot!-like: 'careful' and 'ignorance' reflect the catchy rhythms and energy-driven beats the previous album was practically made of. there are even a few tracks that are reminiscent of the band's debut, all we know is falling: 'all i wanted' and 'playing god' are prime examples with a slower tempo, but still retaining the bright guitars and interlocking harmonies. the two acoustic tracks 'the only exception' and 'misguided ghosts' are a nice change from the loud drums and guitars; the harmonies in 'misguided ghosts' coupled with hayley's softer vocals give off a very chilling, almost nostalgic mood. all in all the track listing is a nice mix-up of both previous albums with a hint of something new. you can always count on a near-breakup experience to fuel a sense of maturity in the band's sound. the almost-breakup that happened to paramore before the release of brand new eyes is quite evident in the songs. it's more of a read-between-the-lines thing, but once you actually do it you can see the tensions that were felt during the difficult time. hayley does an amazing job of executing these feelings as usual with her vocals; she can outdo present-day mariah carey any day. maybe she can outdo 90s mariah carey too - actually it might seem very plausible. so what else do i have to say about the new CD? not much i guess - except for the fact that it's satisfiable, well-written, well-executed and definitely something to listen to on repeat. i've been obsessed with 'careful' (also my featured song for today - check the playlist out!) for at least a week and a half after the CD was released - the way hayley sings 'more' at the end of the chorus gets me every time. honestly, how can she sing like that? it boggles the friggin' mind. great job paramore - four and a half stars for you!
in other, not-so-important news...
i finally compiled all of the featured songs i've, er, featured in past entries and put them together in a playlist, which you can see on the right of this blog thinger. if you're bored of your music and you're in need of something new, feel free to check it out. my playlist is as random as random gets.
"my girlfriend dumped me...boohoohoo... and i'm really hurt..."
the idea of rebellion is being tossed around way too often these days, up to the point where its exact definition has become so bland, overused and generic no one really knows what it is anymore. with the emergence of a new generation comes a new face of pop culture, fads, clothes, music, hair, style, slang, way of thinking, whatever else you want to throw in there. a lot of things have changed in the past decade, and just because stuff's been shifted around a bit doesn't mean that it's a good thing. now i don't want to sound too preachy on this because i'd only be contradicting myself, but to be honest with you when i think about the idea of people trying too hard to be different nowadays it only gets me really, really POed and i end up exploding on an hour-long rant on how they're doing the complete opposite. you see it everywhere nowadays: people are bragging to each other, trying to look more bad ass then the rest.
"yeah, i was a badass in high school. did the stupidest shit - did drugs, never went to class, fought against my teachers. wasn't the best student, but whatever - i grew out of it...i think. hurhurhur"
"oh man that was awesome - totally brings me back to the time when i got mad wasted and i woke up the next morning not knowing where i was or what happened last night. fuckn' eh man, it was so live."
really, i'd expect this kinda stuff from high school students. for adolescents it's a completely different story: we've all been there and we've all gone through the phase. there was that one time in your life where the need to be different from everyone else was your number one priority, and you went great lengths to achieve it: you wore funny clothes, you listened to music no one else listened to, you dyed your hair a bajillion different colours, you pierced your face and tattooed your body. yeah, it's teenage rebellion, adolescent angst; a need to 'express ourselves'. i've totally been there before - my lip ring's plain proof. it's funny how the youth act nowadays; when our parents were our age the popular thing was to try and fit in. now it's basically the exact opposite. what makes it even funnier is since everyone's trying so hard to be different they all end up the same anyway - they wear the same clothes, listen to the same music, talk the same slang. oh the wonders of irony... sadly, i still see the same high school-ish attitude in college, where there are people that are like, five years older than me and they're telling these farfetched stories like it's a fuckn' nursery rhyme or something. i even see it online - i've had reviewers on ff.net who tell me the weirdest things in a vain effort to make themselves appear 'cool' or 'tough' or whatever. there's a scene in one of my stories in which there's a lot of blood. i put a forewarning in the beginning of the chapter, telling people that writing this chapter made me feel queasy because it was sort of graphic. anyway, this one reviewer had the nerve to 'apologize' because they didn't feel queasy at all. they said it was because they bleed all the time, and then they put in one of those little funny faces like o_O haha. it was one of those comments that was meant to slip by casually, like they wanted to mention it in passing but at the same time they wanted you to acknowledge it. it was kinda aggravating. i hate it when people do that. it's like saying "oh, yeah you're cool and all but i've done things that make me cooler than you." honestly, do i fucking care? ...sorry, i was just talking this over very briefly with a friend over twitter (yeah yeah i know, fuck off haha) and i just got all bristled up over it. it's something i have to get off my chest before i sign off for the night 'cause if i don't i'll end up fuming over it for the remainder of the evening. i've seen these kinds of people everywhere, and really i should be used to it by now. maybe it's just the fact that i've been over-exposed to it that i've grown a more intense hatred for it rather than a tolerance. i dunno. then there are those people who like to call out on others who 'conform' or 'fit into society'. now this is another pet peeve of mine. i know most of us live in a free country where free speech is allowed but some people really have to draw the line. i see stuff like this happen everywhere, from the computer to the real world. there's always that one dick that has to say shit like:
"i find it funny/weird/amusing/whatever adjective you want to use how everyone's liking so-and-so now because of what they did and the stuff they're involved in."
again, it's just one of those 'casual' passing comments that are meant to just slip by, yet its purpose is to catch people's attention and make them feel guilty for allegedly 'conforming' or 'doing what everyone else does'. i'm not gonna lie to you - i've made a comment like this a few times before so i'm somewhat of a hypocrite, but i'm openly admitting to it. it's something unavoidable really - everyone's made this kind of comment at least once or twice. it's just one of those tongue-in-cheek comments you just HAVE to make in certain situations. you've got all kinds of people, old and young, who constantly make passing remarks like these to somehow give their peers a subliminal message that they're secretly rebelling against society and that they're badder than they appear to be. i guess it's sort of a natural thing - ever since man was smart enough to record history a lot of people have been aching to overthrow the system and fight against whatever they don't believe is right - but at the same time people also have to know when to draw the line. you can express your opinion and be respected for it, or you can preach to the point where people disdain you and label you as an obnoxious brat who just thrives in hearing themselves talk. do you want an example of what happens to preachy people? watch american history x and hopefully you'll get an idea - sure it's a little dramatized but it will help to pass the message on. while we're still on the topic of movies, i also want to mention another great movie that deals with the topic of posers and try-hards and rebels: slc punk! great, great stuff. i highly recommend it.
now, back on track...
i guess when it all comes down to something it might have to do with one common factor: we really just want people to like us. think about the douche who told you about the time they got arrested with their friends and spent a night or two in jail - why else would he or she tell you that pointless, farfetched story that was totally irrelevant to your conversation? they wanted to impress you; they wanted you to think 'wow, this person's pretty cool.' in a way it's kind of sad, kind of heartbreaking, kind of pathetic. whether you're open to admit it or not we all want to be liked, we all want to be appreciated, we all want to be 'cool' to somebody else, whether it be your friends, your family, or a reader who reviews your stories on ff.net. though it was a main priority in our adolescence it carries onto our adulthood. it's human nature to crave that kind of attention - some are just more desperate for it than others.
of course this doesn't have to be taken literally - it's my opinion, after all. it's nothing worth mentioning on fuckn' cnn or something. it's just something i've observed over the past few years, something that's been picking on me for awhile. i can be right or wrong, or maybe even both. so if you totally disagree with everything i had to say in this little rant by all means disagree - you've got the power of free speech; take advantage of it!
alright, time for my featured song:
since i was in a ranting mood and was on the subject of rebelling and whatnot i had the notion to listen to anti-flag. they're probably one of my favourite punk bands; they've got the typical fuck-the-system, somewhat-preachy attitude but hey - no one's perfect. their music's great and they're conveying their message through their music, and that's what counts. this song in particular is one of my favourites - not only because it's humourously cocky but because there's some truth to it too...but then again that can also be seen as somewhat opinionated. whatever tickles your fancy, i guess.
in all its misery it will always be what i love and hated and maybe take a ride to the other side.
of course, being the studious student that i so explicitly am i'm not doing any work whatsoever - sunday's my homework day, as you can clearly see - and i'm writing on this instead. aside from writing for ff.net school and band stuff has been occupying my life to no end; i've been burning out left right and centre like a short matchstick. speaking of ff.net i'm really surprised - and of course flattered - by the amazing success and attention we're all mad here has received. i didn't think people would actually take interest in it - it's something i wrote on a whim one night, all 14 chapters of it - and i thought it would be too rushed to actually be likable. to those who read, reviewed and favourited/alerted the story thank you from the bottom of my heart! i really do appreciate it - you guys are awesome.
but yeah, back to what i was trying to say - life nowadays is just schoolschoolschoolschoolbandschoolschoolschoolwritingfanfictionschoolschoolschoolschool. not the greatest life - i hardly go out nowadays because everyone's either clubbing (which isn't my thing, really), sick with the (swine...just kidding) flu or concentrated on their schoolwork like i am *suppresses snort*. my diet mainly consists of either mineral water, french vanilla or monster - the latter being more common. obviously this isn't really helping my already ailing condition...but honestly as a post-secondary student you don't really have time to do many things - eating a full meal being one of them. i do have reading week after this week, however, so if i'm not riddled with band practice and songwriting-block i'll have the opportunity to finally eat some real food. i really don't have much to say today...i just felt like i needed to complain about school because that's what everyone does during midterm time, haha. i actually don't really have midterms...more like tedious video and radio assignments that are worth a quarter of my final mark. i really should get started on those soon...but i still need to write up scripts for them and such. ugh. as for my fanfiction.net life, i do have a few things i'd like to address. after we're all mad here is finished i promised readers i'd upload a new story, based on whichever wins in the poll. s far it seems that the 358/2 days rewrite is winning, which is great 'cause i've already got a few chapters written down for that. the problem is i keep rewriting said chapters 'cause i keep changing my mind about the plot -_- axel is a damn hard character to write! the fact that he's hard to read and everything makes writing his character such a challenge to portray in written word, and since this is going to be a mostly IU story i need to make him as in-character as possible. i'm debating whether he should be friendly or stoic towards naminé in the beginning of the story; is it more realistic for axel to befriend her in the beginning because she's in need of company, or is it better if he's cold and whatnot to her until later on the story when he realizes just how much she means to his best friend? i stuck with the former idea first because it was easier to do, but then when i thought about that part in C.O when he threatens to kill her to get through to marluxia i got second thoughts. if he was a friend to her in the beginning why would he be so willing to kill her in castle oblivion? doesn't make much sense, does it? so i shifted over to the idea that naminé didn't mean much to him at first, until he met roxas. he notices how roxas and naminé grow closer and he sort of mulls over the relationship, wondering how two nobodies are able to feel the way they do, and then he sorta gets the idea that naminé means a lot to roxas and grows to care for her later on in the story. the latter sounds more realistic, but it's harder to write and i'm still trying to find my way around it -_- as for the other story i'm planning to upload later on, the country-ish story with roxas and ven as brothers who run the old family ranch, i haven't really started writing it yet but i really want to. i've got a bunch of ideas for it already - including a possible lemon...but we'll have to see how my maturity will fare with that (mm...barn sex) - and i really need to get them all down before i lose them. i was kind of iffy about it first because i'm kinda getting tired of writing AU stories and want to get back on the IU state of mind, but this idea didn't want to leave. this might be my last AU story for awhile...but then again i still have to update illuminate, and then there's the axel-centric midquel i've already got a couple chapters down for...ugh. this is definitely going to be a problem in the near future... hopefully when summer rolls around (may-august...thank god post-secondary doesn't go for so long) i'll be able to write more...that is if i don't get my apprenticeship for school by then. the only reason why i was able to update shine every few days was because i was writing that during the summer when i had no school and i had a lot more time. alrighty, now that i'm finished my talk for today, time for my featured song:
what can i say about this? it's a great song - not exactly seen as a classic since the album was released in 2000, but it's still a great song nonetheless. definitely one of my sunny sunday songs; it's got one of those beats you walk around to on a nice day.
"i'm in a constant state of getting cut, so why don't i feel anything?" i've only recently noticed that i haven't been updating this lately. i don't know whether it's because i don't have anything interesting to talk about anymore, i'm just a lazy idiot who would rather lie around and do nothing or if it's because i've been tied up with my band and school and what have you. i've made myself promise...myself that i'd try to update this more often because i almost always have something to rant about, and by the time i get access to a computer so i can put all those thoughts down it's usually late in the day and i don't feel like doing it anymore.
so let's see...what to talk about, what to talk about...?
ugh, maybe i shouldn't have drank that coke. my chest feels like it's going to explode.
weird - my itunes is on shuffle and by chance, just when i was going to start talking about 358/2 days xion's theme begins to play. i think she knows... i actually finished playing the game a week or so ago but i've never really given my analysis or full review of it yet...so i guess that's what i'll be talking about today =)
okay let's just get this straight first - i know a lot of people don't like xion, and it's easy to see why. she was a very last-minute character, another kairi-lookalike that the developers at square-enix just managed to add in a vain effort to quell the worst of the akuroku fandom. obviously their plan did not fare so well - in fact i think it made the akuroku fandom expand. i mean, for those who finished the game or are far into it - there are a LOT of akuroku-ish scenes or moments; even for those who don't support akuroku it's easy to see which parts i'm talking about. so what better than to add a new female character that coincidentally looks like kairi and naminé into the picture?
now don't get me wrong - i liked 358/2 days: the gameplay was fun and the multiplayer aspect of it was something new; being able to play as your favourite organization XIII number was definitely something everyone liked (aside from roxas i found larxene a blast to play as), and of course with every game there comes a few flaws too. the camera controls were kind of annoying, even when i set it to option B - but aside from that i think that was the only thing about the gameplay that irked me. the storyline, however, i can start ranting about that to no end. despite the fact that xion really is a last-minute character there really isn't a lot of reason to hate the poor girl: i mean, the organization already hates her as it is...why can't people give her a chance? how would you like it if you found out that you were never supposed to BE a person in the first place? what if you weren't supposed to have a real face, a real personality, real feelings? what if you were supposed to just be some kind of laboratory experiment? sure, it's one thing being a nobody - at least you had some kind of an existence before. at least you had a heart and memories of having a heart. when you're nothing but an experiment, however, you've got nothing to cling onto. you were created, not born. you're more of a thing than a person, really. but the excess hatred towards xion isn't what really bothers me; it's the fact that the developers of square-enix decided to focus on her friendship with roxas and axel that makes my stomach churn. now i'm not saying that she doesn't have the right to be best friends with them; the scene at the end where you see the three having fun on top of the clock tower is endearing and heartbreaking at the same time, especially when she begins to fade away. the thing is, why did they even bother to create xion when there's another main character the developers have yet to shed some light on? you already have sora's story: the spiky-haired, keyblade-wielding hero who's meant to save the universe from the darkness ; riku: the best friend of said spiky-haired hero who momentarily turns to darkness but finds out in the end that his friends are what matters most; kairi: the love interest of the spiky-haired hero that helps him to see through the darkness, even if she isn't physically there; and roxas: the somewhat anti-hero of the series who questions his and the organization's motives and if it's really right to be following them. we've pretty much got a good background of all of them because they're the main characters of the story. we know where they're from, what kind of people they're like and the hardships they had to go through. we practically know them inside and out. when square-enix announced 358/2 days i was psyched, not only because we were going to learn about the organization's prime days but also because there was a possibility of expanding on one of the main characters that we almost know nothing about. who am i talking about? naminé, of course! who can forget about the adorable, somewhat pathetic little girl who messed with sora's memories in castle oblivion? naminé is kairi's nobody - a nobody of a main character, if i may add - yet we know almost nothing about her. the only things we DO know are: 1. she's kairi's nobody 2. she's a special nobody with the abilities to express real emotions and rearrange sora's memories and the people connected to him 3. she's quiet, shy and somewhat withdrawn; she blindly follows her captor's orders in the beginning, but when she realizes she's hurting other people she begins to rebel 4. she's lonely 5. she can be more of a damsel in distress than kairi we don't know where she came to be, how she got her name, where she was before castle oblivion, and so many other things that square-enix has so kindly left out in the games. the thing about 358/2 days; why did they have to add an entirely new character into the story instead of expanding on an already-existing character? xion's great and all but naminé needs some love too! speaking of love, ever since the announcement of 358/2 days a lot of people have been hopping onto the roxion bandwagon. now i'm not saying that's a bad thing - if you support the pairing by all means support it - but in my opinion it's basically masturbation, just like soroku and namiri. xion and roxas are practically the same person, so that's basically doing it with yourself, isn't it? but yeah, anyway that's just my opinion - back to the main point... i don't really know what roxas and namine's real relationship is in the games, but i'm only going to assume it's like sora and kairi's relationship since they are their respective nobodies. i mean, if tetsuya decides that roxas and namine's relationship is a familial one wouldn't it be kind of weird for them when sora and kairi finally confess their undying love for each other? i'm just saying that the possibility of them having romantic feelings for each other are very likely - a lot of people that don't support the pairing only see them as a brother-sister kind of relationship because they've only known each other for like six days or whatever, which is fine and all, but most of those people are either namora or akuroku fans. i'm just giving out a general observation, based on people's comments on fanmade youtube videos - yes, i do my research. i'm in the journalism program at school, after all. haha. what i really thought should have happened in 358/2 days is somewhat of a forbidden love story between roxas and naminé. yeah yeah, i know what you're thinking: just 'cause i support rokunami means that i'm in dire need for some interaction in between the two. honestly that's PART of the reason why - i'm not going to lie to you - but another part of me is speaking realistically. it makes sense, doesn't it? roxas is sora's nobody, naminé is kairi's nobody; sora and kairi obviously have romantic feelings for each other...blah blah blah i don't want to get into it because it'll just get more complicated from this point. basically i think that if the main plot of 358/2 days was a romeo and juliet thing between our favourite blondes it would make a lot more sense. like, look what they did to xion: they made her best friends with roxas and axel, only to have her completely erased in the end. total waste of character creation, right? her personality develops throughout the story and everything, and in the end she's wiped clean from everyone's memory. what is up with that? not only is that unfair to xion but it's also a bit of a blunder on the developers' parts: they kind of just wasted their own time, when they could've just expanded on naminé's background. okay, this is what i THOUGHT should've happened: mind you i WILL be writing a story on this so expect it to be up after we're all mad here is completed =D -naminé means born from the waves; 'nami' means 'ocean wave' in japanese and 'né' means 'birth' in french. not only is this an allusion to kairi's name, this also gives me the impression that she was born on destiny islands. xemnas finds her, just like he did with roxas, and he gives her a new name and brings her over to the world that never was, where he explains everything about the heartless, nobodies, darkness and such. -sometime later xemnas finds roxas and he joins the organization as the thirteenth member. somehow he and naminé meet and they grow closer as friends...for now. -now if my memory is correct axel is only present in the game for around 20 or so days before he leaves for castle oblivion...which means that naminé leaves too. this is where the romeo/juliet aspect kicks in and they get seperated, but they promise to be together again in the near future. -the castle oblivion hoopla happens and naminé meets sora, roxas' other half; he reminds her of roxas and she feels all lonely and such and she feels like a dick for messing around with his memories, blah blah blah you know the story haha -when axel returns from castle oblivion he tells roxas that no one survived, which obviously breaks the poor boy's non-existent heart -meanwhile roxas is struggling with his distant memories of sora's past and figuring out what his role is in organization xiii, along with axel and xion's (i'm still including her in the plot since she's now officially a character...i can't just omit her) strange behaviour. he eventually finds out what xion's purpose is and goes out to find her...they fight and before she fades away she tells him that naminé is indeed alive, which spurs him to completely leave the organization and embark on an epic search for his beloved blonde witch! -he encounters riku and demands to know where naminé is; riku, being his emo self, tells him something cryptic and foreboding and starts a fight. they fight, roxas loses, riku takes him to the mansion where DiZ orders naminé to erase his memories and replace them with fake ones; naminé feels bad but she knows it's for the best... -and then the game, or story, or whatever ends with roxas spending his first day as a seemingly normal teenage boy in twilight town with naminé solemnly looking on from a near distance *cue utada hikaru's passion* of course that's a very generalized explanation - when i start writing the story there'll be more stuff squeezed in between but i'm not gonna put all of that stuff in just now. i don't want to spoil the story for you, do i? =) but yeah, that's what i thought should've happened. i don't think xion should be taken away from the plot since i've grown to like her and i don't have the heart to remove her from the story altogether. i guess in a way it'll still be 358/2 days, just modified a little bit so that naminé has more of a purpose in the story. holy crapola, i wrote a shitload today didn't i? and it's all about 358/2 days too! phew...well, time for my featured song: amazing, AMAZING band - and they're from my home country too! i'm absolutely in love with these guys - i've seen them live and they give out a hell of a lot of energy. i've featured one of their songs on my earlier entries - we are the sound - which i also think is my personal theme song for organization XIII and the castle that never was. the lyrics just seem to fit with their situation and everything. this song was one of the first songs i've heard from them - dallas' voice never ceases to amaze me, and george's screaming is so fun to kick around to. i might see them again, along with billy talent and against me - two other great canadian bands - next march. really stoked about that! okay, i think that's enough writing for one day. i reeeeally need to start writing my other stories...
"take my heart out of my chest, i just don't need it anymore."
ugh, i hate, hate HATE migraines. if i was ever a superhero migraines would be my kryptonite, or whatever. it feels like there are billions of those thin, toothpick-like sewing pins pressing through the bone of my skull and pricking my brain and the back of my eyes. i don't even know how i'm typing this now without passing out from the pain. you'd think after so many years of having migraines i'd be used to it by now, but really every time it happens it always feels like the first time. i've been having migraines ever since i was really little - and by really little i mean like four years old, around there - and i've gone through every type of medication you can think of; one doctor even prescribed epilepsy pills for me because apparently it works really well with migraines. i still use them - at least i know i'll be safe from seizures too, haha. my migraine/epilepsy pills are the two bottles on the left - the instructions are so lengthy and confusing that they had to print a second bottle just to finish it, haha. anyway the migraine/epilepsy pills actually work pretty well - the only catch is that i have to take them BEFORE the headache gets worse. if i feel one coming on then i just pop one of those babies and i should be fine for the rest of the day. of course, being the stupid forgetful person that i am i hardly take these around with me so i'm stuck with my headache until i get home. the third bottle's full of vicodin. if you're really that bored and want to know why i take vicodin i broke my knee a few years ago while skateboarding - i'm not the safest person to be around - and it's been wonky ever since. when i walk around on it for too long it starts to hurt and i limp around like a peg-legged pirate. the side-effects of the pill aren't that great - you get doped up like a laboratory experiment - but it does take the worst of the hurt away. of course no one in their right mind should put all of their faith in prescribed little white pills that slurs your speech and slows your movements; it's really all a mind thing. it's kind of like when you see addicts spend thousands of dollars in rehab and medication and substitutes that'll help them get off whatever they're addicted to - you don't really need all of that stuff. checking into rehab and buying a box of nicotine patches is just a way of telling everyone you want someone else to do the habit-breaking for you. it's YOUR problem and not anyone else's, so why are you putting the weight on someone else's shoulder? people quit cold turkey all the time - it's harder than paying for rehab, yes, but usually the results are better for your self-worth and confidence. it's better to say you've won the battle single-handed with a few mistakes in between instead of - in lack of finding a better term - 'cheating' your way out of it. but hey, that's just my opinion - if you think getting help from a support group or a doctor's gonna be a better route for you then by all means get out there and get your help. i'm just saying what's on my battered, pulsating, pain-ridden mind - i can be wrong. if you didn't figure it out by now my reliance on medication has become the foundation for my current story, we're all mad here. i haven't really made reference to specific medication in the story but the situations i've put in the plot are mostly real - it's what happened to the patients i've spent time with at a mental institution for a few months. what nami's going through...someone else went through the exact same thing. and roxas too - but what he's going through, you're gonna have to find out later on XD but yeah, enough about that. no one likes hospitals and all that icky stuff. time for my featured song:
trance, anyone? tiesto's the bomb, and the fact that he collaborated with sara quin for this song makes him even better! this song's been stuck in my head for literally two weeks now - and yes, the pulsing beats aren't faring well for my rapidly-expanding migraine but i'm in love with it! now normally i'm not a big trance/techno/dance music fan but i do have the odd favourite song every now and then. if anything i'm more of a house fan - deadmau5 and late night alumni, anyone? awesome, awesome stuff! i've used a few late night alumni songs in a few of my stories - shine in particular - so i recommend you check it out if you have the time!
aaaaaaand i'm DONE for today! time to bash my skull open with a hammer, pick out the parts of my brain that hurt and stomp on them 'till they're nothing but pink and red mush!
