everybody wants to be understood

if silence keeps you
i will break it for you.

my inner nerd has decided to show itself in the past week or so, 'cause i've been spending most, if not all of my time on my wii, replaying twilight princess.
i am such a loser. haha.
i need to do something more productive with my time, like reading for school or some shit like that.
meh.
and what's even worse, thanks to the new simpsons episode (and jay, ugh i hate you so much haha) i've been listening to josh groban all weekend - well actually i've only been listening to two of his songs, which were featured in the episode: you are loved and so she dances. i don't know why this is happening to me, goddammit.
i already sound nerdy, so i guess it won't hurt to write an entire blog based on my thoughts of legend of zelda, aka one of my most favourite video game franchises in the world.
it's funny when you play rpg video games like these: in LoZ's example, you play this guy named link, who came from humble origins and suddenly finds out that he's some kind of 'chosen hero by the goddesses' to save the land from tyranny. so he triapses around the land, solving difficult puzzles and defeating big ugly monsters, and along the way he collects cool artifacts and powerful weapons. eventually he beats the bad guy who started this crap in the first place and ends up becoming the saviour of the land. he rescues the princess, who had been locked up in this lonely tower with nothing but an old bed and a pretty nightstand, and everything becomes safe again.
and what does our hero get in return?
you watch the end credits, just hoping that something will happen - c'mon, after risking your life to save a girl you hardly know, it'd be natural to expect a little somethin' somethin' in return - and you end up with a pretty background and the words THE END in large orange capital letters.
WTF? no action? c'mon, i fuckn' stuck my neck out for you in the wilderness for god-knows-how-long, while you were all nice and warm and cozy in your tower, and i don't get jack?
to make things worse, in twilight princess there are two other girls that link makes himself acquainted with: he has a childhood friend named ilia who loses her memory, but regains it in the end, and midna, the twilight princess who accompanies link on his journey.
and even after all is said and done none of these girls give link what he deserves.
as caroline wilson so eloquently said:
"i saved hyrule for you, so where's my fucking blow job?!"
zelda (the princess who was locked away in the tower) is pretty damn fortunate that link hardly talks, 'cause sears, if he ever did...ohhhh there would be hell to pay.
i'm not saying this to sound like a perv or anything, but honestly, if you were in his shoes - you're traveling the fuckn' country day and night, spending most of your time in creepy-ass dungeons solving riddles and knowing that there's some kind of monster lurking over your shoulder - you would want some credit for it; a simple 'thank you' would suffice, or a peck on the cheek, but honestly...you gotta cut the poor boy some slack!
it's a sears bitch move to order a guy to save the world for you, only to wave him off in the end - even in more modern terms, it's still a bitch move. you tell somebody to do something for you, and to not thank them when they do it is just impolite. is acting out of propriety the in thing now? sighhh.
okay i think i'm done my nerdy rant. i'm gonna go play zelda now.

i only see my dreams in everything i touch

when we fall in love,
we're just falling in love with ourselves.

okay, before i get on with my usual rambling, time for a funny ssbb screencap i found on deviantart:
clickety click!
*dies of laughter* okay, i'm done.

happy inauguration day to the brothers and sisters from the south - may the next four years induce a positive change on not only the states but the rest of the world. as most of you may know north america's going through some shiteous times, economically speaking and politically speaking. president obama promised america that he will make amends to the mistakes we have made, but then keep in mind that while he does seem like a great guy, he is still a polictician. i'm not saying that he's making empty promises, but it's always best to be wary.
i managed to watch a bit of the ceremony before i left for school today; his speech was pretty short for a presidential address, only around 20 minutes or so (which is good for all of us lacking in lengthy attention spans) but it was filled with a lot of important points, like how he's aware that the country's going through some rough times but it wasn't like they came out of the blue - the people are partly responsible for the economic downfall and stuff like that, and there's the war and everything, blah blah blah politics and other things like that. i was watching his on cnn by the way, and sometimes i flipped to global just to see what my fellow canadians thought of the whole thing viewers' comments scrolled along in a marquee at the bottom) and they all said basically the same thing, about how they're inspired and how they're hoping that barack obama will change the world for the better and such. in a way it's touching to see that canada will also be affected by obama's decisions, but it can only go so far, right?
okay, so obama's the first black guy to be elected president - of the united states. clearly that is history in itself, and i won't deny that. the obama-mania is infectious to the point where canadians and even other people on the other side of the world are reveling in the fact that this guy is now leading one of the most powerful countries. i have friends and family that are excited about this change and some even expressed desire to travel to washington to attend the ceremony. that's great and all, but what about our own country? not just canadians, but other people around the world are focused on what obama's going to say, or what he's going to do next. it's like they've almost completely forgotten that they don't live in america.
my fellow canadians, i think it's about time we stand up for ourselves. let's face it, our prime minister isn't doing so hot, and the election last year wasn't even necessary; the other candidates weren't even prepared for it. you've got to admit that that's a little pathetic - the liberals and the ndp practically embarassed themselves, and then there was that talk of them banding together to overtake the government? this isn't a game of capture the flag.
but yeah, basically what i'm trying to say is that we need to boot our douche of a pm and step up for ourselves. the other candidates - liberal and NDP - aren't that hot either; i mean what was that and the whole 'we're banding together to overthrow the government' crap? bold, yes, but totally unrealistic. it sounds like an overused plot for a bad movie.
i was never one to speak out about politics but after seeing the whole craziness with obama it made me realize that canadians are focusing too much of their time on things that don't directly affect them - it's about time we started caring about our own country, naw meeeeen? let's comb through our people and find somebody that might actually be suitable for the job!

this couldn't be more unexpected

on account of my transgression,
will you welcome this confession?

i never thought i'd be writing about this, but i was reading a short story and it sparked something. of course i couldn't let it go, even if it's on something as trivial and vague as this.
so there are about 6 billion people living on this planet, correct? i don't know, i was never good with numbers, so don't chastise me if i'm way off or something. everybody that has ever come to existence, whether they'd rather show it or not, is capable of feeling. we are engineered to be emotional, though some are more external about it than others. we are inclined to feel sad, happy, angry, scared, enlightened, and whatever other feelings exist. each emotion instills something within us - it starts off small and swells up inside of us like a bubble, until it completely engulfs us.
there is one feeling, however, that does not act like a bubble.
instead of swelling, it scorches.
sometimes it's like a raging, burning inferno - it clears everything in its path, ravaging your insides and licking the walls of your defenses until they completely disentigrate. it rids you of your senses, your securities, your common sense, and though you know it's dangerous you're struck dumb by its beauty as it whirls around you in an array of colours, capturing you in a hot, hazy trance. it causes your knees to buckle and your fingers to tremble - your heart always feels like it's going to explode. it's far more addicting than any drug and deadlier than any plague, but you yearn for it anyway. it has the terrifying ability to destroy you and rebuild you in an agonizing cycle, repeating the process over and over again until you are unable to feel anymore pain because you are totally devoured by it - you rise from your own ashes, only to be swept away again.
at other times it's more like a soft glow - a beacon to light your way when all other lights have burnt out. you see the world through a new pair of eyes, eyes that have never been opened before. you see the beauty in even the most imperfected things, and your senses become more attuned to your surroundings. your life circles around that perfect flicker of a flame, and it becomes the sole reason for you waking up every morning. you breathe, eat, speak, exist for it, and you would go at all lengths to protect it.
everybody belongs to somebody - nobody will ever go on without another person that is destined to fit with them. the only reason why there are so many that have passed on without somebody by their side is because they haven't been searching hard enough. we are not like magnets, who automatically seek out and snap together once they have found their matches.
one day you will find somebody that makes you stop.
there will be somebody for you that makes you feel like you're the only two in the room, though you're surrounded by hundreds of other strangers. you'll feel like you're drowning and your lungs will be screaming for air even though you're nowhere near deep water. time will disappear and every spectre of colour will be visble when you lay eyes on that person - the world is less problematic when you look at them.
to you they are perfect; you pay careful attention to every detail, down to the way they walk or the way their mouth takes a certain shape when they smile. they hold your very existence in their eyes.
many things wear down with time, but love does not. it does not corrode or age; it does not wither and shrink, but of course there's a possibility it can die if it's constantly neglected. all good things in life take work, and love is no exception, but when cared for properly, it lives on forever, and that's something that a lot of things cannot do these days.
nobody is incapable of loving another, and nobody is really destined to wander alone forever. i don't believe it when they say that good things will come to those who wait - you need to find the initiative to go out and search for the things that you want. waiting for the right one will only result in failure; you gotta do some of the work yourself, you know.
there is no such thing as a lonely person - only people that do not look hard enough.

ambition makes you look pretty ugly

would you please stop the noise? imtryingtogetsomerest!
from all the unborn chicken voices in my head.

so i just watched revolutionary road - pretty good movie, but i admit that it isn't as great as benjamin button.
revolutionary road touches more on reality, i guess. it kind of gives you the sense that even a perfectly happy suburban couple living in a nice white paneled house with coloured shutters, a long driveway, a shiny new car and a perfectly manicured garden can secretly be the most miserable people in their neighbourhood.
from a young age most people are made to believe that they are special - they are a unique individual that nobody else in the world can imitate. we are filled with such fantasies that feeds our egos, our sense of individuality.
really though, it's all a sham.
have you ever seen fight club (one of my favourite movies of all time)? there's a scene where you can hear brad pitt shouting:
"You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else."
as sad as that may sound it's painstakingly true. the thought of living an ordinary life obviously scares the shit out of a lot of people - c'mon now, who really wants to be classified as ordinary these days? people go all out to be a beautiful, unique snowflake - boys are wearing tight jeans that result in erectile dysfunction and girls at the age of twelve are already sticking their fingers down their throats. people are injecting chemicals into their faces and silicone into their bodies. their faces are caked on with layers of makeup; their necks reek of expensive perfume. they're plagued with marijuana, cocaine, ecstacy, shrooms, dust - anything that has ever existed. people want to be cool, to be hip, to be different from everyone else when in reality they're all just a pathetic mirror image of each other.
the thought of living life in a straight line bothers everyone because it seems so mundane, so colourless. a married couple, while they are living their lives together, they think apart. they still retain their different opinions and attributes - he wants that, she wants this, he doesn't want her to do that, she hates it when he does this, blah blah blah. the strive to do something out of the ordinary is what brings people to their demise. some people try too hard to be what they envision themselves to be, and they end up destroying themselves and the people that care about them. the want, the need to make something of themselves can tear anybody apart, even if they do look like a perfectly joyous married couple living with their equally joyous children in the nicest looking house in a typical north american suburban neighbourhood. things only seem so polished and reflective on the surface.

bones sinking like stones

oh, all that i know, there's nothing here to run from,
'cause yeah, everybody here's got somebody to lean on.

so i just came back from watching the curious case of benjamin button. fuckn' long movie but it's also probably one of the saddest i have ever seen. how do you deal with aging backwards?
it's hard enough growing older and letting parts of you wear out, but what about growing younger and watching yourself become more and more inadequate? when you meet with that person you know you're destined to be with, how much does it hurt to realize you've only got a certain amount of years before time begins to pull you apart?
you begin separated, then you meet in the middle, and then you part ways once again.
at least once in your life you'll meet someone who leaves a dent on you, like what benjamin button says himself. maybe you'll only interact with that person for a few short minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years but in the end when you part your heart aches for them to return to you because they've managed to wedge themselves into you - they've become a part of who you are.
i was once very good friends with a girl in high school - we met on the most unusual circumstances. i really don't remember the finer details but i think a friend and i were fighting over something ridiculous, and she invites that girl into our conversation to try and straighten things out. i think that was how we started talking. it was around my first year of high school when that happened, but we never started talking until the beginning of our second year. we talked a lot about random things, some personal and some just because we had nothing else to think about. she was one of those friends that you can talk about anything - the kind of person where you can just sit beside each other and not say a word but it doesn't feel awkward at all. there was one conversation we had in the beginning of our last year where we hoped we'd get into queens together and become dormmates - looking back on that now i realize how childish that wish was, even though that only happened a little over a year ago.
it really is a shame that things don't last. i've mentioned in my new years' post that i have done a lot of things that i am not proud of, and these little imperfections was what pulled us apart. sometimes opposites attract and make people the best of friends, with bonds so strong that not even time could break it, but in many other situations it's people's differences that divides them.
opinions and personalities seem to be clashing more than melding together, and things ended on a very bad note. it was a rough few months before i realized that there was no point in getting angry and sore over it anymore, because whatever happened was in the past and it doesn't matter.
but as time went by and my anger over it dissolved, i realized how wrong i was.
some of the things i do are reminiscent of her - i think a little more before i do things (though not a whole lot, but it's still a big improvement) and i don't act out as much as i used to.
before we became friends i was a sporadic, out-of-control, foulmouthed, arrogant...well you get the picture. before we became friends she was quiet, reserved, self-conscious and insecure. the closer we grew the more our personalities rubbed off on each other - i calmed down while she opened up. if it weren't for our friendship i wouldn't be the person i am now, and that's something i will never forget.
i've met a lot of people that have left pretty deep dents in me, but this particular person has left one of the biggest.
life is full of the most unexpected things and you can't prepare yourself for most of them 'cause you don't know when it's going to come to you. the best you can do with what's given to you is to figure out what to do with it when it comes, even if it is something as unusual as aging backwards, or meeting someone that's literally your exact opposite.
i hope that whatever comes to you next will be something that will stay with you forever.
"For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit…start whenever you want…you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
-benjamin button

you don't ask for no diamond rings

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-D8yV_klm4
dallas green, you are my saviour.
honestly, i can be dying of a terminal disease, and i take one listen to your music and i will be completely cured. your voice and your musicianship really does wonders when they work together. i'm so glad i was able to see you in concert.
love, love, LOVE this guy.

AWKWARD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nPeTfeFALk
college humor sums up my holidays.
i've been watching them all month long, thanks to ej.
when i get thrown into the corporate working world, this is the kind of job i'd love to have: fuckin' around, not making any sense and getting paid for it! hahaha.