this couldn't be more unexpected

on account of my transgression,
will you welcome this confession?

i never thought i'd be writing about this, but i was reading a short story and it sparked something. of course i couldn't let it go, even if it's on something as trivial and vague as this.
so there are about 6 billion people living on this planet, correct? i don't know, i was never good with numbers, so don't chastise me if i'm way off or something. everybody that has ever come to existence, whether they'd rather show it or not, is capable of feeling. we are engineered to be emotional, though some are more external about it than others. we are inclined to feel sad, happy, angry, scared, enlightened, and whatever other feelings exist. each emotion instills something within us - it starts off small and swells up inside of us like a bubble, until it completely engulfs us.
there is one feeling, however, that does not act like a bubble.
instead of swelling, it scorches.
sometimes it's like a raging, burning inferno - it clears everything in its path, ravaging your insides and licking the walls of your defenses until they completely disentigrate. it rids you of your senses, your securities, your common sense, and though you know it's dangerous you're struck dumb by its beauty as it whirls around you in an array of colours, capturing you in a hot, hazy trance. it causes your knees to buckle and your fingers to tremble - your heart always feels like it's going to explode. it's far more addicting than any drug and deadlier than any plague, but you yearn for it anyway. it has the terrifying ability to destroy you and rebuild you in an agonizing cycle, repeating the process over and over again until you are unable to feel anymore pain because you are totally devoured by it - you rise from your own ashes, only to be swept away again.
at other times it's more like a soft glow - a beacon to light your way when all other lights have burnt out. you see the world through a new pair of eyes, eyes that have never been opened before. you see the beauty in even the most imperfected things, and your senses become more attuned to your surroundings. your life circles around that perfect flicker of a flame, and it becomes the sole reason for you waking up every morning. you breathe, eat, speak, exist for it, and you would go at all lengths to protect it.
everybody belongs to somebody - nobody will ever go on without another person that is destined to fit with them. the only reason why there are so many that have passed on without somebody by their side is because they haven't been searching hard enough. we are not like magnets, who automatically seek out and snap together once they have found their matches.
one day you will find somebody that makes you stop.
there will be somebody for you that makes you feel like you're the only two in the room, though you're surrounded by hundreds of other strangers. you'll feel like you're drowning and your lungs will be screaming for air even though you're nowhere near deep water. time will disappear and every spectre of colour will be visble when you lay eyes on that person - the world is less problematic when you look at them.
to you they are perfect; you pay careful attention to every detail, down to the way they walk or the way their mouth takes a certain shape when they smile. they hold your very existence in their eyes.
many things wear down with time, but love does not. it does not corrode or age; it does not wither and shrink, but of course there's a possibility it can die if it's constantly neglected. all good things in life take work, and love is no exception, but when cared for properly, it lives on forever, and that's something that a lot of things cannot do these days.
nobody is incapable of loving another, and nobody is really destined to wander alone forever. i don't believe it when they say that good things will come to those who wait - you need to find the initiative to go out and search for the things that you want. waiting for the right one will only result in failure; you gotta do some of the work yourself, you know.
there is no such thing as a lonely person - only people that do not look hard enough.