ambition makes you look pretty ugly

would you please stop the noise? imtryingtogetsomerest!
from all the unborn chicken voices in my head.

so i just watched revolutionary road - pretty good movie, but i admit that it isn't as great as benjamin button.
revolutionary road touches more on reality, i guess. it kind of gives you the sense that even a perfectly happy suburban couple living in a nice white paneled house with coloured shutters, a long driveway, a shiny new car and a perfectly manicured garden can secretly be the most miserable people in their neighbourhood.
from a young age most people are made to believe that they are special - they are a unique individual that nobody else in the world can imitate. we are filled with such fantasies that feeds our egos, our sense of individuality.
really though, it's all a sham.
have you ever seen fight club (one of my favourite movies of all time)? there's a scene where you can hear brad pitt shouting:
"You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else."
as sad as that may sound it's painstakingly true. the thought of living an ordinary life obviously scares the shit out of a lot of people - c'mon now, who really wants to be classified as ordinary these days? people go all out to be a beautiful, unique snowflake - boys are wearing tight jeans that result in erectile dysfunction and girls at the age of twelve are already sticking their fingers down their throats. people are injecting chemicals into their faces and silicone into their bodies. their faces are caked on with layers of makeup; their necks reek of expensive perfume. they're plagued with marijuana, cocaine, ecstacy, shrooms, dust - anything that has ever existed. people want to be cool, to be hip, to be different from everyone else when in reality they're all just a pathetic mirror image of each other.
the thought of living life in a straight line bothers everyone because it seems so mundane, so colourless. a married couple, while they are living their lives together, they think apart. they still retain their different opinions and attributes - he wants that, she wants this, he doesn't want her to do that, she hates it when he does this, blah blah blah. the strive to do something out of the ordinary is what brings people to their demise. some people try too hard to be what they envision themselves to be, and they end up destroying themselves and the people that care about them. the want, the need to make something of themselves can tear anybody apart, even if they do look like a perfectly joyous married couple living with their equally joyous children in the nicest looking house in a typical north american suburban neighbourhood. things only seem so polished and reflective on the surface.