no one else will know these lonely dreams

"you'll sit alone forever
if you wait for the right time."

i really don't know what possessed me to blog about this, but i guess it's just one of those things you feel you have to let out before you lose it. maybe it's just one of those random bouts of inspiration you get when you least expect it, and you're so compelled to jot it down somewhere because you know you'll never get it back once it slips away.
i was just canoodling on my itunes when i stumbled upon a song i haven't heard in awhile: savage garden's two beds and a coffee machine, and i've forgotten how fucking depressing it is. it isn't just the content of the lyrics - a bad case of battered woman syndrome - that made me want to cry, well it was a big part of the reason but what contributed to it was the instrumental too. how can you NOT cry to a song with lyrics about a woman with an abusive husband with a solo piano and a few strings lulling in the background? i dunno about you, but the piano-strings combination gets me nearly every time. actually...it might just be strings. i dunno.
so after i played the song i scoured my playlist for other depressing music, and i ended up creating a new list which i will post shortly. i've forgotten how amazing these songs were, and all of them deserve credit. at first i tried to figure out which song i thought was the saddest, but in the end i couldn't make up my mind. thus, this playlist came to fruition.
i was going to use savage garden's song as the featured song for today's update but then i came across jimmy eat world - one of my ultimate favourite bands by the way - and i was reminded of how this song nearly drove me to tears every time i listened to it. in fact a lot of jimmy eat world songs drive me to tears, so don't be surprised if you spot more than two songs from them on the playlist, haha.
anyway, here's the list. it's not in any particular order.

songs you'll most likely bawl your eyes out to.

1. only hope by mandy moore : the original is actually by switchfoot but the mandy moore version sounded more depressing...at least to me.
i lift my hands and pray to be only yours.
2. for blue skies by strays don't sleep : apparently this was on one tree hill, though i don't watch the show so i can't really confirm that.
i'll never get used to it.
3. everything by lifehouse : this was the theme song to smallville, i think - another show i never watched - but just listening to the lyrics and the guitar is just...wow.
how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you?
4. 23 by jimmy eat world : well it IS the featured song for this update so it's gotta be on the list, haha. as usual jim adkin's lyrical prowess never ceases to amaze me.
i won't always love what i'll never have.
5. two beds and a coffee machine by savage garden : another song i mentioned earlier, so this obviously made the list.
wonder how i ever made it through.
6. lindsay quit lollygagging (acoustic) by chiodos : really bummed out how craig owens left the band, but i guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. the lyrics and the solo piano in this version of the song is definitely heartwrenching.
i will be able to sleep at night with a smile upon her face.
7. fix you by coldplay : you should've seen this coming. you really have to be an unemotional sack of organs to NOT feel something for this song.
i will try to fix you.
8. videotape by radiohead : it's on their newest album, yes, but i don't think i've ever cried to a radiohead song until this one came around.
this is my way of saying goodbye 'cause i can't do it face to face.
9. hide and seek by imogen heap : it was popular before its appearance on the oc, you know.
they were here first.
10. you are the moon by the hush sound : i came across this song randomly one day by surfing around youtube. it's odd how the song is actually about the moon - if you read the lyrics carefully it all clicks - but like most songs you can interpret it how you wish.
the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.
11. existentialism on prom night by straylight run : it's one of those songs you can picture a couple waking up in the morning to. the end gets me all the time.
sing me something soft.
12. my sundown by jimmy eat world : yet another JEW song.
good goodbye, i'll be fine.
13. the other promise by yoko shimomura : yay for video game music! yeah yeah, i had to put this as the thirteenth song...how couldn't i? haha. roxas' theme song probably has to be one of the saddest theme songs i've ever heard, and the fact that yoko shimomura made an orchestral recording of it made it even sadder!
my heart belongs to me.
14. xion's theme by yoko shimomura : well since she's number XIV i had to...
how can two people be the same person?
15. your letter by 112 : about time i put some R&B in this. you'd THINK this song would have a happy ending, but it doesn't =(
i saw a letter lying on the floor.
16. drugs or me by jimmy eat world : this makes JEW song number three. the title kind of speaks for itself, really.
you promised, you promised.
17. run by snow patrol : the last parts at the end get me every time. have heart, my dear.
18. soil, soil by tegan and sara : the lyrics are very relatable.
i'm feeling directionless, yes, but that's to be expected.
19. for me this is heaven by jimmy eat world : this is one of my favourite songs of all time, and the bridge is always a tearjerker - at least for me.
i close my eyes and believe that wherever you are, an angel for me.
20. your ex-lover is dead (final fantasy remix) by stars : the final fantasy/owen pallett version of this song is simply amazing - i think it's better than the original. the piano and the strings combo proves itself worthy once again.
and all of that time you thought i was sad, i was trying to remember your name.

i'm probably missing a bunch of other songs out, but i'm really tired and i have to get up at six so i should be sleeping soon. if i feel like it i'll probably update the list...but i don't know how likely that'll be, haha.