you're knocking on my windows.

"take my heart out of my chest,
i just don't need it anymore."

ugh, i hate, hate HATE migraines. if i was ever a superhero migraines would be my kryptonite, or whatever. it feels like there are billions of those thin, toothpick-like sewing pins pressing through the bone of my skull and pricking my brain and the back of my eyes. i don't even know how i'm typing this now without passing out from the pain.
you'd think after so many years of having migraines i'd be used to it by now, but really every time it happens it always feels like the first time. i've been having migraines ever since i was really little - and by really little i mean like four years old, around there - and i've gone through every type of medication you can think of; one doctor even prescribed epilepsy pills for me because apparently it works really well with migraines. i still use them - at least i know i'll be safe from seizures too, haha.
my migraine/epilepsy pills are the two bottles on the left - the instructions are so lengthy and confusing that they had to print a second bottle just to finish it, haha. anyway the migraine/epilepsy pills actually work pretty well - the only catch is that i have to take them BEFORE the headache gets worse. if i feel one coming on then i just pop one of those babies and i should be fine for the rest of the day. of course, being the stupid forgetful person that i am i hardly take these around with me so i'm stuck with my headache until i get home.
the third bottle's full of vicodin. if you're really that bored and want to know why i take vicodin i broke my knee a few years ago while skateboarding - i'm not the safest person to be around - and it's been wonky ever since. when i walk around on it for too long it starts to hurt and i limp around like a peg-legged pirate. the side-effects of the pill aren't that great - you get doped up like a laboratory experiment - but it does take the worst of the hurt away.
of course no one in their right mind should put all of their faith in prescribed little white pills that slurs your speech and slows your movements; it's really all a mind thing. it's kind of like when you see addicts spend thousands of dollars in rehab and medication and substitutes that'll help them get off whatever they're addicted to - you don't really need all of that stuff. checking into rehab and buying a box of nicotine patches is just a way of telling everyone you want someone else to do the habit-breaking for you. it's YOUR problem and not anyone else's, so why are you putting the weight on someone else's shoulder? people quit cold turkey all the time - it's harder than paying for rehab, yes, but usually the results are better for your self-worth and confidence. it's better to say you've won the battle single-handed with a few mistakes in between instead of - in lack of finding a better term - 'cheating' your way out of it. but hey, that's just my opinion - if you think getting help from a support group or a doctor's gonna be a better route for you then by all means get out there and get your help. i'm just saying what's on my battered, pulsating, pain-ridden mind - i can be wrong.
if you didn't figure it out by now my reliance on medication has become the foundation for my current story, we're all mad here. i haven't really made reference to specific medication in the story but the situations i've put in the plot are mostly real - it's what happened to the patients i've spent time with at a mental institution for a few months. what nami's going through...someone else went through the exact same thing. and roxas too - but what he's going through, you're gonna have to find out later on XD
but yeah, enough about that. no one likes hospitals and all that icky stuff. time for my featured song:

trance, anyone? tiesto's the bomb, and the fact that he collaborated with sara quin for this song makes him even better! this song's been stuck in my head for literally two weeks now - and yes, the pulsing beats aren't faring well for my rapidly-expanding migraine but i'm in love with it! now normally i'm not a big trance/techno/dance music fan but i do have the odd favourite song every now and then. if anything i'm more of a house fan - deadmau5 and late night alumni, anyone? awesome, awesome stuff! i've used a few late night alumni songs in a few of my stories - shine in particular - so i recommend you check it out if you have the time!

aaaaaaand i'm DONE for today! time to bash my skull open with a hammer, pick out the parts of my brain that hurt and stomp on them 'till they're nothing but pink and red mush!