i hate, hate, hate your guts

"i hope this song touches you like your father does."

so i have an ear infection - i got it on sunday while taking a fucking bubble bath.
yeah, a bubble bath.
here's the lowdown: it was sunday evening with a few hours before the oscars and i'm bored out of my mind because i have no life. so i was sitting in my room, wondering what i could do to kill the time before the awards came on, and then it hit me:
why don't i take a bubble bath? i haven't taken one in so long...
so being the cool person that i am i dig through the cabinets in the bathroom to find some bubble bath mix, and i pour the shit into a tubful of water and hop in. it was probably the most relaxing 45 minutes i have ever had in years, seriously.
but then when i get out, i realize that i can't hear out of my left ear. somehow water had gotten into it, and now i feel like half of my head is underwater.
a day passes and my head starts to hurt, so my mom gives me this oily shit and tells me to put five drops in twice every day - it's supposed to stop the infection or something. so i do that, and the pain intensifies, and i still can't hear properly.
yesterday i had an hour before i had to leave for school so i decide to play a bit of guitar. of course, being half deaf, i can strum the chords properly but i can't hear myself sing at the same time, so i'm guessing i sounded pretty bad. off-key singing to me is just like nails against a chalkboard.
today, when my parents came home my dad took me to the doctor. the doctor said that it's just your regular ear infection and that if i keep taking those blasted drops i should be fine in a few days. at least it's nothing serious, but those drops are a killer. what the hell is in it anyway? it feels like dropping sulfuric acid into my eardrums.
oh well. i guess i won't be singing any time soon...but i can still play guitar, i think. it sounded on-key to me...

anyway, who watched the oscars on sunday? if you didn't that's okay - i'm like the only person i know who watches the entire thing anyway, haha.
kate winslet FINALLY won best actress, after 39847239487239 past nominations. she totally deserves it - i saw the reader a few weeks ago, and it was amazing. that brit sure knows how to act, and she uses nakedness to her advantage (for those who don't know she appears nude in nearly all of her movies) - work it, girl!
and of course the late heath ledger took best supporting actor, and the speech his parents and sister gave was touching - there wasn't a dry eye in the house; even brangelina was crying!
and i've officially added hugh jackman to my list of celebrity crushes (others include tom delonge, edward norton, gerard way, brad pitt, ewan mcgregor, jackson rathbone, dallas green, and many others that i can't think of at the moment) because he was probably the best host thus far - actually he's right up there with ellen degeneres from last year, haha. his opening number with anne hathaway was great, and the whole 'the musical is back' thing was superb too, minus the zac efron, the vanessa hudgens and the lipsyncing beyonce. even seth rogen and james franco reassumed their roles as saul and dale to perform in a small comedy skit! great stuff right there. slumdog millionaire won a billion awards, including best picture, which was expected, and curious case of benjamin button won quite a handful as well. both are great movies, which i recommend to everyone, and they deserve it!
all in all, pretty good ceremony this year - expected it to be a little bleak because of the recession, but they recovered nicely. they showed a brief preview for movies coming out this year, and it only makes me more excited for half blood prince =) go harry potter!

i never thought i'd die alone

never conquered, rarely came,
sixteen just held such better days.

okay i haven't been sixteen for almost three years but that's besides the point. ever since blink's reunion i've been listening to their music nonstop. shh, i know i'm a freak =)
anyway, i just finished reading what i now consider one of my all time favourite books (and this is saying something 'cause i'm really not a fan of reading), which is the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky. i have no idea how to pronounce his last name.
the book's about this social outcast named charlie who's just about to start high school. the narration style is different in the sense that the book is written in a seires of letters to an annonymous individual that charlie only addreses as a 'friend' - in fact he opens every letter with 'Dear friend'. the book depicts the events of his first year of high school and the highs and lows of being a freshman: love, friendship, sex, drugs, family, the crevasses of your own mind, y'know...the typical adolescent stuff. i'll be honest with you: charlie pisses me off sometimes 'cause he's a bit of a crybaby but other than that a lot of the things he says are eerily relatable. i guess everybody's high school experience is somewhat similar; it's just the finer details that are different. another great aspect of the book is the fact that its set in the early 90s - '91 and '92 to be exact - and charlie makes references to great music, so that's a bit of a treat. the rocky horror picture show is kind of a big deal with the book's setting too.
if you're looking for a good coming-of-age story, i think this book's perfect. or maybe i'm just saying this because i don't read much and i don't really know any other books, but that's okay. i really liked this book. haha.

bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody.

i haven't been this scared in a long time,
and i'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine.

okay i know this is a couple of days late, but BLINK-182 IS BACK, BITCH!
and while i am aware that some of you do not care, i'd have you know that blink is one of my ultimate favourite bands of all time, aside from gorillaz, jimmy eat world, city and colour and my chemical romance. the only difference that sets blink apart from the bands i just previously mentioned is that blink is the first rock-orientated band i have ever listened to, and they were the inspiration behind me picking up a guitar. before i found out about blink i listened to extensively hip-hop, rap and r&b - not saying that it's bad music; i still love hip hop, though the mainstream stuff's a little overrated now - it's just that when i found blink, i found the genre of music i would be associating myself with for probably the rest of my life. by the time i started listening to blink i had already quit the piano, and when i first heard the chunky distortion of tom's signature strat i knew i found my instrument. actually, i installed the same bridge humbucker pickup that tom used in his fender strat into my current guitar, the seymour duncan invader. sounds almost exactly like his =P
anyway, blink broke up nearly four years ago - i was just starting high school at that time, and when my best friend and i found out we were crushed, totally devastated. blink was such an integral part in our lives; they showed ue that singing toilet humour-orientated songs can bring a big difference to the world, and that it's okay to laugh at yourself. they did all the things we wish we could do deep down on the inside, whether it's running around in public naked or expressing your desire for oral sex through song. they weren't always joking around, though; they also wrote songs about usual teen angst, songs about being the typical loser in high school and songs about heartache. a lot of teens can relate to their songs if they only took the time to listen to them. the breakup was taken hard by millions of fans around the world - jay and i even signed a petition to bring them back.
our prayers weren't answered until just a couple days ago, on february 8th 2009 - together again, mark, tom and travis presented the grammy for best rock band at the grammys, and announced that they were indeed back together. i'm not shitting you right now; when i first saw that i almost yelped in joy. jay and i spammed each other on msn, exclaiming our excitement - the 13-year-old outcasts in us were whole again. just yesterday we went on the official blink website and found out that they were in the process of recording a new record and they were planning a world tour. obviously, jay and i are going to grab tickets at the first opportunity. it's been a dream of mine to see blink live - and jimmy eat world too - and hopefully it will come true this summer, when they kick off their tour.
so there you have it: my self-professed love for the band that changed my life forever. haha. to be honest with you i've got the hots for tom (if you look at him it's easy to see why) and i'm in love with mark's lyrics. travis is a god on the drums, and when you blend the three of them together they create musical history - a very humourous musical history. here's to blink-182 and their reunion - you better not break up anymore!

my dreams, they come a kissin'

"love forever, love is free,
let's turn forever, you and me."

thanks to one of my classes i've rekindled my love for gorillaz. awesome, awesome band, even though they're animated.
and what's even better, their creators - damon albarn and jamie hewlett - are in the process of making a new album. apparently they already started, and they released demos of three songs. i listened to them, and they're pretty interesting. lots of electronica going on; i think i'm going to like the new content. they released a new picture of murdoc though, and he's looking a little...old.
so anyway, out of boredom i was surfing around fansites and reading up info on gorillaz to see if anybody knew anything about the upcoming album, and i found a page of quotes. 2D was never the brightest one in the band (in fact he's pretty far from bright) but sometimes he does have pretty insightful things to say. i managed to stumble upon one of this quotes, and now i think they're one of my favourite quotes of all time:
"Remember when you were a little kid and you would look up at the clouds in the sky as the sunlight bounced off them? And, something that simple would make you feel a part of everything and all alone at the same time. And that feeling’s not something you can ever put into words. So you spend your whole life chasing it: making music, taking pictures, praying, whatever, in the hope that other people will understand that sense or feeling. As creative entities, we look for signs of life outside ourselves, for a connection to alleviate the sense of solitude, that’s why we all do what we do, whether we know it of ourselves or not."
interesting, huh? goes to show that my theory was kind of right: everyone pines for some kind of acceptance. the yearning to be appreciated is a common trait between all of us, and like 2D so eloquently said, some of us aren't even aware of it - or maybe we just won't bring ourselves to admit it. creativity and the imagination has that downside: you yearn to express yourself through a creative outlet, whether it be music, drama, art, writing, whatever - and you want people to look at it and appreciate your work. you want people to look at it because you want them to relate to it; you want them to relate to you.
when you're hit with inspiration you often just pour it out onto whatever it is you pour your inspiration into, whether it be paper, a canvas, the stage, or an instrument - you seldom question the actual feeling itself. it's always the same when it happens; excitement rushes through you and your brain's wracking through different ideas and methods for you to use this sudden burst of creativity. you never ponder on why it makes you feel this way, or why it compells you to do whatever it is you do. but you do it anyway, and usually the end result is something beautiful, completely unique. that's the greatest thing about art - you have the right to claim it as your own if you created it.